Category Archives: Family

3 Simple Words To Say Every Morning

Posted on by

0

75f788e2b9ed11e2bb3e22000a1fb8a8_7

One of the most incredible things I get to do as a mother is teach my children about Jesus.

I get to be the one to tuck them in at night.  The one to teach them how to pray.  The one to teach them how to ask for forgiveness when they’ve hurt someone else.  The one to model what it looks like to love God and follow Jesus.  Each night as I lay my baby boy into his crib I get to whisper into his ear that I love him and that God loves him too.  One of the greatest gifts of being a parent is that you get to be the most important person to someone.  It’s the coolest.  Really, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.  Sometimes it’s the scariest and the best at the same time.

I’m still learning from God and from other women around me what it looks like to create an environment for my family where God is glorified.  It’s not about doing everything right all the time, but it’s about all of us moving in the same direction, towards Jesus.

Something I started practicing a little while ago, was that each morning when I go into my son’s room to get him out of bed I tell him good morning and then I say, “Let’s say, ‘Good morning God!“

Sometimes after that we will say a quick prayer for dada or I will say a few things that I’m thankful for that day.  Other times we will pray for longer (meaning, I will pray aloud while Cameron begins to pull all his books off the shelf) or sometimes if I’ve just stumbled out of bed too we will just say ‘Good morning God’ and then go downstairs to get some breakfast.  But saying those three simple words each morning has been more powerful than I expected it to be when I started doing it.  Simply remembering God as we do our thing around the house each morning is powerful.

inner voice

I saw the above quote last week and it really stuck with me.  It’s so true.  Again, it’s an incredible honor and ridiculously scary at the same time.  Each mother has so much influence over her children.  Over the next five or six years (at least) Cameron will hear my voice more than anyone else’s.  His inner voice will either be built around complaining and negativity or it will be built around the good stuff.  Not to say that I never complain or say negative things (I’m a real person too!), but I’m continuously trusting the Holy Spirit to help me grow in this area for my own sake and for the sake of my family.

So with things like saying, “Good morning God!” each morning with my son, it’s my prayer that this will become part of his inner voice; his default setting.  I pray it gets stuck in his head and when he’s older he remembers what his mama taught him: that choosing God each morning is simple.  That saying those three little words can set a whole day of praise into motion.

Try it.  It works!

l

P.S. – Lately I’ve been hooked on All Sons & Daughters Pandora station.  It’s lovely.  I recommend it.  It’s another thing that’s been helping me set some praise into motion.

Kid’s Worship Music

Posted on by

1


 seeds_logo

Last week I was on a mission to find some kid’s worship music to start playing at home for Cam.

I started searching the web and found a bunch of stuff that made the crease between my eyebrows deepen.

I did stumble across some Hillsong Kids stuff, but I was thinking, “There must be more than this out there.”  So I put the question up on my church’s Kids Church Facebook page and within thirty minutes, botta-bing botta-boom!  Seeds Family Worship was the one to try.

cdThis is Volume 2, out of 7

I instantly loved it!  It had a fun, contemporary feel and reminded me of some good summer camp memories.  Each song is taken from a particular Scripture so as you sing you’re singing and memorizing Scriptures.  Good for me, good for Cam.

Had to share!

CLICK HERE to listen to 12 of their songs online.

Also, if you have any other recommendations for me to try, please leave a comment and let me know!

seedslogo

A Very Funny Take On Pregnancy

Posted on by

0

1e6601dc9bd711e2979222000a1f9bc6_7

Aloha!

The Kidwells are back from Maui.

Yep, Maui.

Not Vegas.

Thank goodness we knocked some sense into ourselves three days before we left and replanned our vacation.

I think I can safely say that we had 10,000x more fun in Maui than we would have in a place that is extremely toddler unfriendly.

Anyway, more on that to come…

What I got on my laptop for was to share with you a very funny perspective on pregnancy.  My friend Emily just found out she is pregnant with twins and thank God she has a blog and is blogging about the whole thing HERE  on her blog Anchor Wife because she is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met in my life.

Since sometimes pregnancy can feel so overwhelming and heavy (literally too) and so serious, I’m already looking forward to future blog posts she will write because I know she will somehow infuse so much laugh-out-loud-then-snort humor into her experiences.

So if you’re pregnant and need a laugh…or maybe you just like to laugh at pregnant women…then you should check out her blog.  It’s free.  So why not.

Update on me: we are still trying to get pregnant, or rather just not preventing pregnancy.  I’m feeling a lot more relaxed about the situation and searching for my own humorous approach as well.  With Cameron we made one little oops in our prevention methods and this time we have been trying for four months straight with no takers so far.  I keep realizing more and more that the situation is out of my hands and I just need to enjoy what I have going on right now, which I am very much.

Plus, a few of my friends are pregnant so it’s been really fun hearing about their experiences and celebrating or freaking out over things with them.  Living experiences through them is kind of like being pregnant myself without puking my brains out, which for now is not so bad.

Marriage Has Its Seasons

Posted on by

0

vego

We’re going to Vegas baby!

Why?

Because my soul needs refreshing.

And so does my marriage.

Jon and I haven’t been on a vacation since our honeymoon, so during his Spring Break we are going to hit the road and drive into the desert in search if the bright lights and some quality time together.

vegas trip

One thing that brought me and Jon together was our spontaneity.  I loved to surprise him with unexpected visits or gifts.  He liked to surprise me with outings to try new foods or hike new hills.  When we were dating, I remember surprising him by detailing his car and cleaning his kitchen just to showcase my wifey-ness and one time, before it was appropriate, we took off with two friends at 2 a.m. after a Denny’s hang out and drove to Santa Barbara just to watch the sun rise.  Much of our dating consisted of trying new things together and enjoying random adventures in the California sun.

Our first date was a bike ride where, for the first time in my life, I braked suddenly and flipped myself over the handlebars and onto the pavement.  Jon and I both laugh about it now because at the time I put on a brave face and acted like it was no big deal, but we know that if the same thing happened now, I would be crying and insist on being carried back to the car.

I think we fell in love in the midst of doing crazy things to impress the other one and pushing boundaries just to prove that we were fun and that the other one needn’t look elsewhere for adventure and excitement.

However in the midst of babies, work, school and a growing pile of responsibility and stress, much of our spontaneity has been snuffed out and as a result, so has an important part of our relationship.  Before we had Cameron, I read books that warned about the dryness that can inhabit a marriage after babies come.  I read those chapters with a smirk because our love was fierce and fragrant.

Don’t get me wrong: I am still very much in love with my husband.  We are committed to each other and even when we quarrel, we know deep in our hearts that it will get worked out.  I have an adoration for that man that I didn’t know possible and I have a growing respect for him as I see him sacrifice his entire life right now to get through school so that he can provide for our family the way I know he wants to.  When we got married, we said vows and I think because of the grace of God, those vows were allowed to seep deep within us and caused our DNA to intertwine like tree roots so that when I sin against him, I feel as though I’m sinning against myself.  I have an assurance, strong as blood, that we will never be separated  lest death be the culprit.  When I look back on our season of dating I know, because it is etched into my heart, that he is God’s best for me so I needn’t look elsewhere because I know I would never find another who would compare.

But marriage has it’s seasons.  It does for everyone, which is why I am not sharing something shocking, but rather something that any married person could read and nod their head to and say, “Oh yes, there are seasons.”

Right now our season is not the newlywed bliss we grew accustomed to, full of spur of the moment dates and endless late nights spent laughing and dreaming about what our children might someday look like.  It is one of learning to love not based superficial motives, but one of learning to love the other one simply because they need it and we want to give it regardless of what we are getting in return.

On a daily basis, we get an hour or two in the evenings to interact.  When Jon gets home from work we attempt to chat about our days while Jon has his play time with Cameron and while I finish dinner.  Then one of us gives Cameron a bath and I put the boy to bed.  After which Jon hits the books and sits down at his laptop until the work is done.  Sometimes it’s 11 p.m. and sometimes it’s 2 a.m. when he comes crawling into bed.  Somewhere around 10 p.m. I announce my departure so Jon can walk me upstairs and tuck me in.

When we were engaged, Jon would walk me home to my doorstep and we would spend ten minutes dragging out our goodbyes and arguing about who should leave first.  Then I would run upstairs to my room, jump into bed and continue to text him until my fingers finally came to a stop and I fell fast asleep mid text.  Some nights now I text him from upstairs as I’m falling asleep too…

Since he has one year left of school (a midst working full time, mind you), we are having to accept the current circumstances and do our best to each be open to handling more than we would sometimes like to.

But since Jon’s Spring Break is coming, we have decided to do something spontaneous because our souls need it and because we want to experience the fun and the spontaneity in our relationship once again.  I anticipate, and hope that later on in life, we will be that old couple who still enjoys doing crazy things together in the name of love.

vegas triiiip

So we chose Vegas.  I want to go and see all the crazy sights there are to see, hang out for a week uninterrupted by homework and then come home more content and with a renewed strength of heart to carry on loving my man fiercely as he goes out everyday to fight his battles.  I have never really been in a fight, but I will fight anyone who dares to challenge the fact that my husband is the bravest, most hard working man that there is!  No one loves his family like he does…

So, Vegas here we come!  We’re expecting you’ll take good care of us.  We need a little crazy in our lives (but before 10 p.m. because regardless of location, our baby still wakes up early).

We Went Back To The Beach

Posted on by

0

photo (89)

Today was another beach day.

This time we took Marcus with us.

I watch three-year old Marcus two half-days a week.  I started watching him when Cameron was 6 months old.  I reluctantly took the job, mostly because we needed the money.  I had finally just come out of the newborn fog and I was nervous to complicate my life and increase my learning curve by adding another child.

But I did it anyway.

And it proved to be a great decision.

Marcus is a sweet kid and it’s been fun to share our home and our time with him.

Very recently I’ve also taken on watching a 4 month old boy named Brooke two days a week .  On Fridays I have all three and it’s a bit of a crazy town with three kids still in diapers and who all can’t feed themselves.

However, I’m happy for the effect I think it’s having on Cameron.  I like that he is learning to share his home, his toys and his mommy’s attention with other kids.  I hope this serves him well when a little brother or sister comes along and I hope it sets the tone for us having a home that is inviting to other kids and families.

It’s also obviously a great way to make some extra income while getting to spend time in your own home and with your own kids too.

I don’t think I will ever be opening up Erin’s Daycare Center because as much as I love watching other kids, I am still a creature of habit and order and I don’t like having all my stuff trampled under the feet of kids playing pretend.  But I’m thankful to the Lord that he has provided the right children at the right time for me to care for.

Today the boys spent two and a half hours just digging around in the sand.  I felt like I was watching grown men work on something…they would occasionally check out what the other one was doing, but mostly just dug in the dirt, side by side, without saying much.  Men…even as boys they are men.

I think the highlight of the day had to be watching a flock of seagulls descend upon the lunches of four teenage girls who had just gone down to the water.  When the girls noticed what was happening, it was too late and the seagulls carried away their ziplock bags full of Doritos and carrot sticks.  Hilarious!…I mean, so sad…

When the highlight of my day is not a poo explosion or conquering a mountain of laundry, it is a very happy day indeed.

Are We Pregnant Yet?

Posted on by

6

On New Year’s Eve, my husband Jon and I decided that we felt ready to start trying for baby number two.  Since baby number one was a complete and total surprise, the idea of trying seemed so strange and foreign to us.  We felt sure about wanting another baby, but then the next moment we would question our sanity.  How could we ever be sure?  We decided that we couldn’t, so we had to just trust our hearts and take a leap of faith.

As January 1st came and went we assumed that by the end of the month we would be celebrating the conception of our next child.

But it didn’t happen.

Despite 1,000 signs that I was pregnant, the tests said no.

Call it ‘power of the mind’ or a pregnancy that didn’t last…I’ll never know…

But it was a reality check.

It was a much needed reminder that God is the creator of life.  Yes, we play our parts, but we do not determine when someone will be born or who that someone will be.

I was grateful for a friend who reminded me that God knows the names of my children.  He knows the days on which they will be born.  He knows their life.  He knows them.  And although I sometimes think I am in control of the development of my family, nothing happens apart from Him.  He is the giver of taker of life.

So January passed and as February dawned, Jon and I decided not to try so hard.  Trying felt awkward and stressful and I’ll stop before I share too much…so moving forward we decided instead just to let things happen.  I didn’t think about babies or pregnancy too much in February until I was late of course.  8 days late.

[TMI Warning: Sometimes after you have a baby and you are breastfeeding, your cycles can get all wack and irregular.]

I took a pregnancy test everyday.  I told myself not to get my hopes up, but as the days passed, my anticipation of baby news grew.

But again, the tests kept saying no and I soon found out for sure that I wasn’t pregnant after all.

It’s so strange how taking a pregnancy test can either be the most thrilling, horrifying, relieving, or disappointing moment you’ve ever experienced, depending on your mind-frame at the time.

I’m not sharing any of this for sympathy or because I want the whole world to know that I was trying to have another baby.  In fact, the thought of that is pretty weird.

I honestly have no idea when the best time for me to be pregnant with another child would be, so I’m glad these things are not left entirely in my hands.  I’m glad the destiny of my family isn’t left up to whims and sudden magical feelings of faith for a second child.  Plus, wanting a child for two months is hardly anything compared to the heart-wrenching praying and waiting that many couples go through.

Honestly, I think a lot of the reason I want to be pregnant again is that my husband has one year of school left.  Two years down, one more to go.  The past couple months have been the most difficult time for me in his schooling so far.  After two years of doing my best to be supportive and understanding of the crazy schedules and insane workload, I think I’ve become tired of it.  I’m ready for it all to end.  I think I just want to move on and enjoy life on the other side of the giant wall we’ve been climbing for two years.  I’m tired of saying things like, “When you’re done with school we will ____.”  The past couple months my life have begun to feel like a waiting game, so in my mind there would be nothing better to distract me for the next year than the anticipation of another baby.  (Mom, if you’re reading this, please let your eyebrows relax- I know this all sounds crazy.)

I’m not really sure what my conclusion to all of this is.  I think this is more of a journal entry to myself so I can wade through my feelings and feel like by putting them down on paper, somehow I am removing them all from me.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
-Isaiah 5:8-9

I reminded myself today that Cameron was not my idea; he was God’s.

If it had been up to me, Cameron wouldn’t even exist because Jon and I thought it would be better to put of having kids until he was finished with school…

I’ve been praying lately that God would soften my heart.  I want to enjoy this season of life to the fullest, instead of wishing it was different.  I want to be a supportive wife through the rough patches as well as the easy ones.  I want to let this whole wanting a baby idea go like a balloon on a windy day.  I just want to feel God’s perfect peace.  It’s all possible.  It’s all things God has helped me with before in other circumstances.  I just need him to help me again now.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
-Ecclesiastes 3:11

Taking Care of Kids

Posted on by

1

Thank you Charles Spurgeon for saying this.

Some days when I feel like, “All I did was keep my child alive today,” I feel tempted to discredit my day.  I didn’t really do anything.

But this is the voice of culture, not of God speaking.  My culture tells me that things like money, career, stability, fashion, automobiles, social outings, keeping busy, vacations and my social media presence are all more important than the simple and sometimes mundane tasks of giving my family quality care and my attention.  And honestly, some days those things sound a lot more exciting than the tasks  that can start to feel like drudgery if I’m not careful to keep a right perspective.

Despite what my culture tells me, there is great worth in God’s eyes when I invest my life into my children and my family.  While my kids are little ones, there is no greater priority than their care and upbringing.

If I invest now, I will reap the benefits later.

If I make other things my priority now, I will be investing later to try and undo the damage I did when they were young.

Today I am taking care of Cameron along with a 4 month old and a 3 year old.  Tomorrow I am doing the same thing.  The next 48 hours of my life are going to consist of diapers and sweeping crumbs off the kitchen floor, playing with toys and then picking them up again and again.  I hope to go on a walk this afternoon so we can all get some fresh air.

Right now there are many things that sound more relaxing, exciting and even possibly fulfilling, but Lord, help me make my home into a grand and glorious church where your Spirit can work among us.  Make my white-washed apartment walls glimmer and gleam like stained glass and may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, O my God.

The Power Of Words

Posted on by

1

photo (48)

The other day my husband mentioned to me that he heard a funny song on the radio.

He couldn’t remember what it was called, but he thought I would think it was funny as well so we googled lyrics he could remember until we found it.  The song was “Words” by Hawk Nelson.  It was a song on Christian radio about the power of words.

In my opinion, it was a cheesy song.  No disrespect to the artist, but Christian song or not I just thought it was cheesy.  I should probably preface this by saying that I worked at a Christian radio station for three years where I monitored the station for eight hours a day, hearing the same playlist of songs repeat over and over for months at a time.  Considering that Christian pop isn’t really my style of music in the first place, I sometimes took a humorous approach to what I was hearing.

So Jon and I had a little laugh over this song and moved on with our evening.

This morning I read a chapter from my book Bringing Up Boys, which also happened to be about the power of words.

My time reading ended in me curled up in a ball on the floor praying and Cameron crawling on top of me like a jungle gym.

My son is at the stage where he is really starting to pick up on things.  Maybe he did before, but now Jon and I can actually tell that he’s understanding more and more. He observes everything around him and has even started mimicking certain things he’s seen or heard.  By the end of the 49er game last weekend he was squawking and waving his arms around when we would. (It was a proud father, son moment in our living room).

This morning, when I realized how far I was from God’s will and a good example to my son, I desperately asked God for the help that only he can provide.

I wouldn’t say that I have a dirty mouth, but I do have a large vocabulary of slang terms that I would not want my son to pick up on.  Phrases like, “What the…!?”, “Holy moly!”, “Dang”, “Darn”, “Crap”, “Freakin’”, and “Gosh dang,” frequent my vocabulary.  Sometimes I slip and say “God,” to which my husband now sarcastically responds with, “Who?”  Last summer I was eating pizza with my friend and her three year old son.  I responded to something by saying “what the…” and the three year old turned to me and said, “You shouldn’t say that.  It’s a naughty word.”

I’m not going to lie, I felt embarrassed and convicted because the three year old was right.

“As [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he.”  -Proverbs 23:7, NKJV

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  -Phillipians 4:8

I’m not a parenting expert by any means, but I do understand that the most basic and powerful parenting principle is this: You are THE EXAMPLE to your children.  A million other things will influence them, but the most powerful and significant example is you as a parent.

If I curse, it gives my children permission to curse.  And if I tell them it’s not okay then I become a hypocrite and I lose their respect.

Through my mistakes I can also teach them about grace and repentance, but without intentionally growing in my weak areas I will end up teaching them about ‘cheap grace,’ and what it looks like to make excuses for myself.

I think this is one of the most difficult things to swallow as a parent.  I kind of wish it weren’t true because it’s really challenging.  But this phenomenon can also drive me into deeper reliance on God and a greater desire to become more pure and holy like him.

Hard but true facts.

Hello Blog, It’s Me Erin

Posted on by

0

Hello!  Wow, where did the time go!? In the last month I’ve jumped around from Washington to Colorado, and from San Fransisco to Chico, California all to spend time with family. The Kidwells have been sick off and on too so I took a hiatus from blogging to just relax.  Plus, I have an unspoken rule that whenever I am visiting family I try not to let anything unnecessary demand my attention, including blogging.  I usually only get a few days every few to six months with the people that I love most dearly so I guard it as sacred time.

On Tuesday Cameron turned one… although I’m still kind of in denial… There’s almost so much to tell since I shared last that I don’t really know where to start.  Here are a few highlights…

photo (36)
My mom visited us in San Luis Obispo,

christmas2
Cameron and I flew to Spokane to enjoy the snow…from inside the house,

christmas1
and my dad made fires.

christmas
I met up with Jon in Colorado and we spent Christmas with his parents.

christmas5
This is our third year of our tradition of wearing onsie pajamas on Christmas morning.  This year Cameron joined us in our weirdness because at this age, he doesn’t have a choice.

Nativity_tree2011
We celebrated the birth of Jesus.

photo (39)
We went geo-casching for the first time.  Fun, fun, fun, fun.

photo
Grandma Juliette turned 75 and Cam turned 1.

christmas9
We worked on driving the sniffles away.

And then we came home to sunny, 70 degree San Luis Obispo weather.

It’s good to be home, but missing family already.  Someday planes will fly faster and they’ll only be 30 minutes away…

Happy belated New Year!  It’s good to be back.

A Lion, A Hunter and An Animal Right’s Activist

Posted on by

0

I’m a week late or so on posting this, but oh well.


QUESTION: How many times did Cam wear his lion costume this October?

ANSWER: 4

QUESTION: How many times did Cam enjoy wearing his lion costume?

ANSWER: none

QUESTION: Did mommy care?

ANSWER: No.  Mommy only cared about the cute factor


When Jon put on this wig at home, Cameron looked very uneasy and kept looking around for me.  Jon kept saying, “Cam it’s me!” but that didn’t seem to help.

Weird fact about this Halloween: it was 85 degrees when these pictures were taken.  85 degrees!?!!? In Washington I used to wear three layers and still shiver in my costume.  I’d complain, but this is still better than shivering!