Tag Archives: marriage

Marriage Has Its Seasons

Posted on by

0

vego

We’re going to Vegas baby!

Why?

Because my soul needs refreshing.

And so does my marriage.

Jon and I haven’t been on a vacation since our honeymoon, so during his Spring Break we are going to hit the road and drive into the desert in search if the bright lights and some quality time together.

vegas trip

One thing that brought me and Jon together was our spontaneity.  I loved to surprise him with unexpected visits or gifts.  He liked to surprise me with outings to try new foods or hike new hills.  When we were dating, I remember surprising him by detailing his car and cleaning his kitchen just to showcase my wifey-ness and one time, before it was appropriate, we took off with two friends at 2 a.m. after a Denny’s hang out and drove to Santa Barbara just to watch the sun rise.  Much of our dating consisted of trying new things together and enjoying random adventures in the California sun.

Our first date was a bike ride where, for the first time in my life, I braked suddenly and flipped myself over the handlebars and onto the pavement.  Jon and I both laugh about it now because at the time I put on a brave face and acted like it was no big deal, but we know that if the same thing happened now, I would be crying and insist on being carried back to the car.

I think we fell in love in the midst of doing crazy things to impress the other one and pushing boundaries just to prove that we were fun and that the other one needn’t look elsewhere for adventure and excitement.

However in the midst of babies, work, school and a growing pile of responsibility and stress, much of our spontaneity has been snuffed out and as a result, so has an important part of our relationship.  Before we had Cameron, I read books that warned about the dryness that can inhabit a marriage after babies come.  I read those chapters with a smirk because our love was fierce and fragrant.

Don’t get me wrong: I am still very much in love with my husband.  We are committed to each other and even when we quarrel, we know deep in our hearts that it will get worked out.  I have an adoration for that man that I didn’t know possible and I have a growing respect for him as I see him sacrifice his entire life right now to get through school so that he can provide for our family the way I know he wants to.  When we got married, we said vows and I think because of the grace of God, those vows were allowed to seep deep within us and caused our DNA to intertwine like tree roots so that when I sin against him, I feel as though I’m sinning against myself.  I have an assurance, strong as blood, that we will never be separated  lest death be the culprit.  When I look back on our season of dating I know, because it is etched into my heart, that he is God’s best for me so I needn’t look elsewhere because I know I would never find another who would compare.

But marriage has it’s seasons.  It does for everyone, which is why I am not sharing something shocking, but rather something that any married person could read and nod their head to and say, “Oh yes, there are seasons.”

Right now our season is not the newlywed bliss we grew accustomed to, full of spur of the moment dates and endless late nights spent laughing and dreaming about what our children might someday look like.  It is one of learning to love not based superficial motives, but one of learning to love the other one simply because they need it and we want to give it regardless of what we are getting in return.

On a daily basis, we get an hour or two in the evenings to interact.  When Jon gets home from work we attempt to chat about our days while Jon has his play time with Cameron and while I finish dinner.  Then one of us gives Cameron a bath and I put the boy to bed.  After which Jon hits the books and sits down at his laptop until the work is done.  Sometimes it’s 11 p.m. and sometimes it’s 2 a.m. when he comes crawling into bed.  Somewhere around 10 p.m. I announce my departure so Jon can walk me upstairs and tuck me in.

When we were engaged, Jon would walk me home to my doorstep and we would spend ten minutes dragging out our goodbyes and arguing about who should leave first.  Then I would run upstairs to my room, jump into bed and continue to text him until my fingers finally came to a stop and I fell fast asleep mid text.  Some nights now I text him from upstairs as I’m falling asleep too…

Since he has one year left of school (a midst working full time, mind you), we are having to accept the current circumstances and do our best to each be open to handling more than we would sometimes like to.

But since Jon’s Spring Break is coming, we have decided to do something spontaneous because our souls need it and because we want to experience the fun and the spontaneity in our relationship once again.  I anticipate, and hope that later on in life, we will be that old couple who still enjoys doing crazy things together in the name of love.

vegas triiiip

So we chose Vegas.  I want to go and see all the crazy sights there are to see, hang out for a week uninterrupted by homework and then come home more content and with a renewed strength of heart to carry on loving my man fiercely as he goes out everyday to fight his battles.  I have never really been in a fight, but I will fight anyone who dares to challenge the fact that my husband is the bravest, most hard working man that there is!  No one loves his family like he does…

So, Vegas here we come!  We’re expecting you’ll take good care of us.  We need a little crazy in our lives (but before 10 p.m. because regardless of location, our baby still wakes up early).

Inspiring Marriage Video

Posted on by

1

Tonight Cameron made it to bed a little early (only to wake up an hour later – but that’s not my point) so I got to go to Better Wives Club with a handful of my friends.  The new book we are going through is Love & Respect by Emerson and Sarah Eggerich.

At the end of the meeting we watched a really amazing video about marriage that left us all pretty speechless.  It really puts things into perspective and makes the fact that your husband didn’t make the bed this morning seem completely irrelevant.

If you have 8 minutes to spare, this video will help you be a better spouse and lover of Christ.

Watch the video: The Story Of Ian and Larissa

Also, if you’re engaged or married, maybe consider starting your own Better Wives Club.  It’s a great way to intentionally grow in your role as a wife.  Or, if you’re single, maybe you can start a Future Wives Club where you intentionally focus on what you can do now to prepare yourself for marriage.  Either way, marriage is such a gift from God that is worth investing in both before and after you’re married.

Don’t Go To Bed With Dirty Dishes In The Sink

Posted on by

3

There’s a Bible verse that goes a little something like this:

“And don’t sin by letting anger control you.  Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (NLT)

“Dont’ stay angry.  Don’t go to bed angry.  Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.”  (The Message)

~Ephesians 4:26 

Lately, I have had a lot of dirty dishes in my sink.  And let me clarify: I NEVER have dirty dishes in my sink.  Maybe a pot or two here and there, but never a full sink of dishes.

But lately…

with a husband who works full time and does school full time, with a new baby, and with…I dunno…just life happening, I keep finding my kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes.

It’s gross.  It’s annoying.  Seriously,who wants to be my nanny???

So earlier tonight I took a bath. It was the first bath I’ve taken since having little Cameron enter my world.

The baby was in bed, so I poured a glass of wine, grabbed a candy bar from my stash and headed upstairs with my book “What’s It Like To Be Married To Me?”  (And yes, I’m still reading this book – one chapter each month- and discussing it with The Better Wives Club.)

I started reading and God spoke to me.

“Erin, don’t go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.”

I knew what my Heavenly Father meant.

God wasn’t addressing my housekeeping.

He was addressing my heart.

k

Lately my marriage has felt so different.  I’ve been trying to adjust.

I’ve been frustrated.

At what, I don’t know…. just frustrated.

Frustrated at the circumstances.  Frustrated at Jon at times (I don’t like to admit it, but it’s true).  Frustrated at myself for being frustrated at the circumstances and at Jon.

School.  Going back to work soon.  Changes.  More changes.  Getting up at night.  Managing a home.  Jon’s job.  Not being able to shower…or do anything exactly when I want to.  Cooking dinner every night.  Changes.  Finances.  Car breaking down.  AHHHH!!!!

Having a baby is the most miraculous event I think I will ever witness in my life.  It’s beautiful and amazing.  But then you go home from the hospital and real life eventually catches up to you.  And then you have to fight to keep viewing things as beautiful and amazing because trials and pressures and changes come and threaten it all.

k

The thing about dirty dishes is this: you can leave them in the sink, turn off the light and go to bed…but when you wake up in the morning and walk into the kitchen to make the coffee,

they are still there,

staring you in the face,

stinking up the whole kitchen.

k

Right now, the chapter I’m reading in my book is called, “Is It Possible To Grow Together When Things Fall Apart?”  Things aren’t necessarily falling apart right now, but they sure are different than they used to be and sometimes that can make things feel like they are falling apart.  So I’ve been thinking a lot about my marriage lately and praying about how Jon and I can stay close and grow closer even though life just got flipped upside down.

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides.” (The Message) James 1:2

l was reminded tonight that trials will come, but that the key is to not let resentment, bitterness or anger pile up in my sink.  Because if I do, they will still be there in the morning – and that is not a great way to start the day.  One or two dishes at a time will only take a few moments to clean, but a whole sink full is a daunting task to deal with.

The author of the book paraphrases James 1:2 this way:

“Rejoice in the trials you face as a couple; they will teach you perseverance and make your love and commitment to one another strong.  They will produce character, a strength that will lead to intimacy.”

Beautiful.

That is what I want and that is what I’m trusting God for.

So, yes, my literal kitchen sink is still full of dirty dishes.

But spiritually, my heart is cleaned up and so now I’m ready for bed.

Good night!

Why Do Men Wait?

Posted on by

0

The other night I was watching The Bachelorette.  Yes, I do in fact still like that show.  Whether it’s realistic or not, it’s exciting to watch people experience the thrills of falling in love.  Of course, it would be better if the relationships tended to work out and turned into strong, healthy marriages – most times they do not – but nonetheless the mysterious, unscripted, romantic feelings that cause people cast all fear aside in the hopes of attaining lifelong love is good TV if you ask me!  Ever notice how love always has a way of getting you to root for it?  It’s impossible to watch a show like The Bachelorette, or any romantic comedy for that matter, without hoping that in the end, love will find a way.  Okay, so this is not a plug for The Bachelorette, I’m getting to my point…

The other night as I was watching this show I noticed something peculiar.  I’m sure I wasn’t the first person to make this observation, but I noticed that almost all of the men who went on this show were between 27 and 35 years old, accomplished in whatever field or industry they worked in and surprisingly, most of them had only very recently opened up to the idea of pursuing a future and a family with someone.  Throughout the show, many of the guys made references to how they’d spent most of their 20′s in meaningless, shallow relationships or in relationships that turned out to be dead ends.  And now, as they transitioned into their 30′s, their desire to settle down finally seemed to kick in.  They finally got serious about taking on the role and responsibility of being a one-woman family man.

The funny thing: these days in our culture, this late-blooming for men seems normal.  I mean, who would want to marry a man before he’s proven to be successful in his career, right?  Wrong!  My friend Christina Hutchison wrote a very insightful blog post about her  thoughts and experience as a 30 year old single, Christian woman who desires to be married.  I thought her perspective was well-spoken and it made me think about my own experience as a married woman as well.

Currently, I am 24, married and scheduled to have a baby sometime in January of 2012… and I feel really young!  At the doctors office I look younger than most of the other pregnant women I see and I don’t know a ton of other women my age who are having babies yet.  Many, in fact, are still waiting to be married.  I don’t feel like I’m too young to start a family, but according to most of what I see around me in the culture and in the media, I’m practically throwing away the best years of my life!  Halle Berry had her first child at age 41.  Selma Hayek, same age.  Julianne Moore, 41.  Nicole Kidman, yep, you guessed it,  41.  Susan Sarandon, 43.  Madonna 38.  Of course there are lots of examples of female celebrities having babies at a younger age too…but examples like Britney Spears and Jamie Lynn Spears make it look so…well, traumatic and uncool.  And the young moms that still manage to appear sleek and stylish have nannies, so of course they are still able to continue triumphing in their careers with a few soccer games on the side.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with women having babies at an older age, it’s just that the trend in Hollywood seems to lean so far in that direction.  It’s the “live your life, then start a family” mentality versus the “family is life” mentality.

Here are the stats:

Fewer people are getting married.  For the last 40 years, marriage rates have been gradually decreasing.  Some of this is attributed to people waiting longer to get married.  The average age of marriage in the United States is currently around 26 and 28 for women and men respectively.  Another factor is that more people are choosing to live together, some instead of getting married, and some as a prelude to marriage.  In fact, 60% of Americans in first marriages now live together with their partner before getting married. (source: eharmony labs)

The average age of first-time mothers in the United States has been rising steadily over the past four decades — up from 21.4 in 1970 to a little over 25 in 2005, the National Center for Health Statistics reports.  According to the study, more than a third of first-time moms in the U.S. are over 30 when they have their first child.  (These are the numbers from a 2006 study.  After snooping around online, it seems that the 2006 study provides the most recent statistics on this topic.  As you can imagine, the average age of first time mothers has likely risen since then as well).

My friend Christina proposed that this delay in marriage may be due to a culture shift where men simply do not take the initiative to pursue women until they find themselves financially stable and able to provide.  While this reason may amount to part of the delay in marriages, quite possibly the other side of the story is that many women also do not consider marriage as a feasible option while they themselves are in school or trying to get their careers off the ground.  The feminist, “independence rules!” mentality may have scared men off.  Maybe men backed off because so many women kept telling them that the last thing they wanted was to settle down and become a housewife before they’d had their chance to live a little.  What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Especially for people who pursue undergraduate and postgraduate degrees, marriage during college usually means that mom and dad stop paying for tuition.  Ouch!  Tens of thousands of dollars of debt seems like a pretty good reason to postpone getting hitched I suppose.

So while I think the cultural shift may hold both men and women responsible for this delay in marriage, I very much appreciated Christina’s insightful take on the whole issue.  She’s awesome!  Check out her blog, He makes all things new, to see what she had to say.

As for those who are willing to make a change in geographic location in hopes of finding marital bliss, Idaho has the lowest median age for first marriages, followed by Kansas, Arkansas, Utah and Oklahoma.  Potatoes, corn and long skirts anyone?

Love the Boy, Respect the Man

Posted on by

2

A while back Samantha shared about how sometimes when she prays for her husband, she pictures him as a little boy.  She said it helps soften her heart towards him.

Well, last week I found that this little trick is helpful in a variety of scenarios.

Okay, so it was some evening last week.  It was around 10:30 pm or so and Jon and I were just putting some things away before we called it a night.  I went upstairs for something and decided I needed to check something on the computer.  I grabbed the computer bag off the floor and opened it to find it stuffed with not only our computer, but with school books, papers, pens, and food wrappers.

It was about two seconds later than I spun around, marched downstairs, and not so-lovingly told my husband how I was so upset that he had done that – when just last week I had specifically told him not to put anything besides the computer in the computer bag!  My voice was raised, my tone was bitterly sharp and after telling him off I marched my way back upstairs and took a seat on my throne, feeling high and mighty – for about ten seconds.

My husband remained standing at the bottom of the stairs where I had left him, stunned and probably not feeling like much of a man at the moment.

See, I can be a bit of a control freak.  In my mind, any extras in the computer bag will surely ruin the computer.  Right!?!  Sigh…

It was quiet in my apartment for a full minute.  Jon didn’t move.  I didn’t move.  It was just still.

While sitting there on my bed, I mentally replayed the scenario that had just happened.  In the slow motion replay I could see the expression on my husband’s face as I scolded him for something he did not intentionally do to hurt me.  I could see him try to say he was sorry, but how he was unable to because I cut him off.  And I pictured him standing there at the bottom of the stairs trying to muster up the courage to approach me even though he likely felt very small.

A lot of times in a situation where I feel guilty and regret my actions, instead of doing the right thing I get overwhelmed by my guilt.  And I waste a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.  But this time, while sitting on my bed, that little seed that had been planted in my mind suddenly sprouted and came to life!

I imagined the same scenario happening, but this time I pictured five year old Jon.  Then I pictured my potential future son.  I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.  Why would I feel so wrong about scolding a child like that?  Yet without thinking, I poured out a decent amount of wrath on my husband?

This time, my revelation caused me to get up off my bed and hurry to the stairs to apologize.  I rounded the corner, made it down a few stairs and found my husband already half way to the top.  I hugged him and kissed him and told him I was sorry that I had been so rude and mean.  He was so forgiving.

It’s crazy to think about how much power mothers and wives have over their little boys and their men.  Dr. Laura made a good point about this in her book The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands that I referenced yesterday.  She said that their whole lives, men are largely controlled by women.  As little boys, their mothers are the ones who tell them what to do.  Mothers have the power to make or break a boy.  Through their words and actions they teach their sons that they are strong, capable, and believed in.  Or, they teach them that they are weak, dumb and failures.  And the same thing goes for wives.

When a man gets married he begins to look to his wife for approval instead.  He needs to know that his wife loves him and believes he has what it takes.  So wives who constantly criticize, belittle and point out flaws and failures in their husbands have the power to turn a determined man in to one who doesn’t care much about anything.  Over time, their harsh words will crush the fighting spirit in the man.

I’m grateful that God is teaching me this now, early on in my marriage, so that I don’t spend years damaging the person I care the most about.  I’m sure I’ll mess up and yell another time or two, but like I’m learning lately, grace is so necessary for improvement.  So I plan on practicing this little trick of picturing my husband as a little boy whenever I start to feel myself get angry or worked up about something.  It really does soften my heart.

(Jon (bottom) and his younger brother Steven)

A Road Trip, Ikea & A Good Book On Tape

Posted on by

2

The 4th of July weekend came at the perfect time this year.  All my ducks swam into a perfect little row; God bless those cute little ducks.

Last week when Jon and I realized that we had no 4th of July plans we set out to make some.  After a couple months of feeling tired and queasy, last week things began to change and my spunk started to return for the most part.  I told Jon,” I don’t really care what we do, but just get me off of this couch!”

After some talk about camping, we decided to head north to spend the weekend with some of Jon’s hometown friends in the coastal town of Anchor Bay/Gualala.  It’s a small vacation destination where divers congregate to enjoy peak scuba diving conditions.  Our friend Ryan’s parents have a cabin in the woods just up the hill from the ocean.  Ryan, his wife Kelli and their two daughters, Mc Kayla (2) and Emily (3 months) were headed to the cabin along with Ryan W. and his new puppy, Hayden.  A cabin with friends, a deck, hot tub, baby and puppy…what more could you ask for?

It was the perfect weekend getaway complete with homemade pizza, scones from a local cafe and The 3 Little Pigs record playing over and over and over for two year old Mc Kayla.  On Sunday night we ventured down the road to another small town along the coast that was hosting a street fair complete with fireworks.

Since we spent most of the 4th driving back to SLO, we decided (okay, well I decided) that we should have the ultimate American shopping experience: So we stopped by the Ikea in Emeryville to shop for nursery curtains and all those other random things around the house that I’d been jotting down on my mental checklist.  We managed to make it out alive after only 2.5 hours, which for Ikea, might by my personal record.  I wish I lived closer to an Ikea just so I could go eat at their cafeteria more often…and so I could shop there more!

Another great addition to our road trip: books on tape!  I’m slowly beginning to realize what a great resource the local library is.  A huge variety of magazines, books on tape, kid DVDs…for free!  So on Friday before we left town, Jon picked out a variety of books on tape for us to try.  The first few were a disaster.  I don’t recommend The Twilight Zone stories.  Maybe the narrative stories wouldn’t have been so bad, but we were listening to the dramatizations complete with cheesy sound effects and story lines that were hard to follow.  Next, we tried one called The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.  I think it was supposed to be funny, but it ended up being extremely cheesy too.  After one disc we turned it off.

The real winner ended up being Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands.  It was cute that Jon picked this book out himself.  I guess based on the title what’s not to like about this book, from a man’s perspective?  Dr. Laura is known for being blunt and to the point and I have to say I liked it!  This book taught me a lot and reminded me of  some key things I learned during my season of engagement when Jon and I read For Men Only and For Women Only.  Honestly, I think I need a good dose of Dr. Laura every couple months or so because it’s so easy to just cruise in my marriage rather than be intentional about how I’m giving to and acting towards my husband.

So Dr. Laura set me straight on some things.  She has a way of reasoning with women in a way that they realize some of things they are doing and feeling are not only ridiculous, but sabotaging the very things they want so badly out of life.  So after a long drive home with Dr. Laura I feel refreshed and motivated to care for my husband in increasing measures.

Speaking of husbands and marriage, Jon and I are planning on going on a Family Life Weekend To Remember conference in November.  I’m really looking forward to that too.  One friend asked me, “Why are people nowadays so into books on marriage and marriage conferences?  People like my grandparents have a great marriage and I don’t think they ever read books like that or went to conferences.”

My friend has a good point.  However, times have changed a lot since our grandparents generation.  Sadly, marriage has lost it’s value to our society at large and even those that get married often adopt selfish and destructive attitudes and behaviors (oftentimes without even realizing it) that over time will ruin a good relationship with a spouse.  So I don’t know about everyone else, but I know that I personally need to be reminded of the ingredients for a happy marriage by people with more experience and wisdom than myself.

So here’s to a great 4th of July weekend, the second trimester and happy marriages!

OH, and I wish I had pictures to share from our trip!  We brought the camera, but we were having too much fun relaxing to use it.  Next time.

Reflections on Marriage

Posted on by

0

I’m thinking about my marriage a lot today.  Maybe because Jon and I are about to wade through the waters of transition in about two weeks when he goes back to college after being away from the world of higher education for about five years.  Maybe because we’ve been talking about going on a Family Life Weekend to Remember towards the end of this year because many couples that we know who have been married for a long time say it’s one of the best things they ever did together.  Maybe because we are approaching the one year mark at the end of May.  Or maybe it’s because I realized this morning that I still need to change my name at one of my banks and fill out one more form at the DMV.  Actually, I know what it is: it’s probably because I watched the season finale of The Bachelor last night so my heart is just inclined to daydream about love since I literally can’t stop thinking about Brad and Emily and hoping that their future works out together.  Whatever it is that’s sparking these thoughts about my marriage today, I suppose it’s good because it’s worth investing some thought into my life-long relationship with my husband.

Like I mentioned, in a couple weeks, beginning on Monday March 28 Jon will be going back to school to finish his college degree at Cal Poly.  It should take him just under three years to finish and it really was perfect timing from the Lord on this happening.  Jon has talked about it since I met him and after six long years of applying he got in!  And like he will tell you, school has never really been his thing, but now that he’s married and has the support of a loving wife he believes he will be able to make it through.  So I’m proud of him and excited for him in so many ways and I’m also dealing with myself as I internally battle this transition before I surrender to it.

Since we’ve been married Jon and I have lived in a pink floating dream bubble where we both wake up for work around the same time, we both work 8-5, and then in the evenings we either go to things together, hang out with friends together, or do daily tasks like grocery shop together.  And since we have successfully shared a single vehicle for almost a year, we inevitably drive everywhere together.  So while I’m thankful for this new opportunity that he has to pursue his dreams, I’m also shaking in my boots a bit just because part of me really doesn’t feel like sharing my together time with my husband with thousands of Cal Poly students or his homework.  Not to mention that  in order to make his very full schedule of working a full time job and going to school full time flow, I am in need of becoming utterly efficient in the planning and implementation of making lunches and dinners every day.  No more dabbling in the art of cooking.  We are about to go from zero to sixty.

I suppose it’s about time though and I do see the benefits of me needing to rely more on the Lord for strength and companionship.  I see myself growing up quite a bit during this time.  I see myself becoming more responsible.  I see myself developing character necessary for when I have children someday.  And I also see myself freaking out a bit along the way.  Expected.

But the timing really does feel right so I know after putting up a good fight I will surrender it all to the Lord and begin to thrive in getting to take care of my husband in new ways and supporting him through a challenging few years in both of our lives.  Because really I think I’m just scared of things changing because as much as I think about it I can’t figure out what it’s really going to be like yet.

However I am extremely grateful for our nine months in the pink floating dream bubble and I’m sure that there will be all sorts of unforeseen blessings from the Lord as we enter into this new season.  One already visible one being that Jon is going to get such a killer opportunity to reach out to some of the students in his classes.  I’m jealous to say the least.

So pray for us and pray for Brad & Emily.  Call me a dreamer but I think everything will work out just fine in the end for all of us.

The Proverbs 31 Challenge

Posted on by

1

I finished chapter three in Radical today.  It’s been a slow read because I can’t seem to get through more than half a chapter without needing to put the book down to contemplate some things. 

Reading a book like this is a strange process.  As I read it I find myself following each sentence with an internal ”amen!”  But then quickly realizing that I, in reality, don’t know what I should do to actually make my life line up with what I’m being challenged to do. 

I want to go to the nations with the gospel, I want to do more as a Christian than just go to church, and I want to honestly live like God is the only important thing  to me and not care about my belongings.  But as I look at my day-to-day life and the things I spend my time doing I feel like a lot of times I’m missing the point.   

I work a full time job so with my weekdays 8-5 spent at a desk, I find myself trying to fit one thousand and one things into my 5-10pm weekday slots and of course my weekends.  Things like laundry, dishes, household cleaning, grocery shopping, additional shopping, attending cell group, meeting up with disciples, hanging out with friends, learning how to cook new recipies, reading, prayer, writing, maintaining my nailpolish, organizing our guest room (yes, still), showering, church, thinking of new ways to reach out to people, actually reaching out to people, staying on top of our finances, getting quarters from the bank for laundry machines, quality time with my husband, running or exercising, doctors appointments, oh yes and the 72 hour project of assembling our new bed from World Market and now disassembling it because the defective frame doesn’t hold the weight of 300 lbs worth of people.  Sigh.  I know, I know, and I don’t even have kids yet. 

I read about the Proverbs 31 wife today and I felt rather comforted.  She sounds busy.  And not only is she busy, but she is busy with rather mundane things that the Bible deems as worthwhile and honorable.  I’m still praying about how to incorporate more missional living into my daily life because despite what I have going on in my world I want to continually grow into a person who is outgoing, loving, and intentional with people I meet.  Yet, I suppose this week I’m also seeing the benefit of placing effort on becoming effective, efficient and strong for my husband and someday for my cute little blonde-haired family as well.  “Life’s a dance, you learn as you go,” as one country songs puts it.  So thank goodness that there’s grace as I do this high-energy Mambo.

After reading Proverbs 31 I rewrote it in my own words.  I’m by no means accurate in Bible translation but I sometimes find it helpful to put some scriptures into my own words.  It helps me own it and take it to heart.  Here’s what I came up with:

Proverbs 31: The Wife of Noble Character

“A woman like this is very rare and valuable; of the highest value

Her husband believes in her abilities and he has everything he needs

She brings him good not harm all the days of her life

She makes wise choices and provides food for her family

She gets up early

She takes care of those around her

She is educated and makes wise financial decisions; She invests in the future

She thinks a step ahead

She’s a hard worker and shoot, girlfriends got some muscle tone!

She makes sure her family has the basics and she’s skilled in many things

She has room in her life for the poor and the needy

When difficult circumstances arise she doens’t worry about her husband and children because she’s covered them in prayer and has trained them up in the Lord

She decorates her house and takes care of her appearance

Her husband is respected by other men in society

She does kind and thoughtful things for others

She fulfills important roles that benefit her community

She is clothed with strength and dignity

She can laugh at the days to come because her attitude believes the best about the future and her trust is in the Lord

She is wise and can give good and helpful instruction

She takes responsibility for what happens in her household and she doesn’t become lazy in doing so

Her children have wonderful things to say about her

And her husband also; he compliments and praises her

They will say she is the best wife and mother

Charm is cheap and beauty will fade away but a woman who fears the Lord will grow into all of these things

Let a woman like this receive a healthy, loving family and close relationships

And let her be known as a woman of love.

 

So here’s to the Proverbs 31 Challenge and to becoming more missional.  Anything for the glory of God!